Frog Sperm Intermission

This made me laugh as I searched online for useful mountain information (it was in a mountaineer's blog). As promised long ago, I shall finish up my Mulu series posts.

Imprinting Impressions

Here I am, alone in Old Town (becoming a norm), pondering as I go along with my day to day routine... about how people would usually remember and judge your bad/naughty side despite there being another side of you that's the complete opposite. First impressions are important, yup, but that doesn't mean after leaving a good first impression, letting out your naughtier/bad side won't cause that good first impression to be written over by the latter.

I wonder why I'm even writing about this. Maybe I just want to get it off my chest.. or head.

Sometimes, no matter how much of a good impression you make from the start, once a flaw crops up, it'd be pinned down on the eternal wall of condemnation. And sometimes, no matter how hard/serious you work for long periods of time, letting your hair down (figurative; my hair would only reach my brow even if I 'let it down') equally freely a couple of times would cause people to never take you seriously again, just because you've shown yourself capable of having fun/partying/being a court jester, so to speak.

It's in our sinful human nature to judge. And though I myself try my level best not to, I know I still fall prey to this nasty, automatic little gnawing habit at the very corner of my mind sometimes; almost unknowingly, in a mental whisper that gives a feeling akin to yourself unconsciously eavesdropping, until your conscious mind begins to digest the mutterings of that little part in your head. And then I consciously tell myself to stop, sometimes out aloud if I'm alone. haha

I really don't like it when people generalize my behaviour, thinking they've known me well enough to do so. Perhaps some do know me enough, but more often than not, the ones who do this are those won don't. Still waters run deep, but sometimes, turbulent ones do, too.

I think these thought sprouted from myself noticing how I'm always more reserved and held back when dealing with my church people; leaving my more formal, less-intimate and sometimes I feel, pretentious self to face them. Both sides, the serious hard person; and the lazy, master jester are me. I feel like by only being perceived as one or the other by different people, my free-mouthed outspokenness is stifled, and people will either paint a wrong, deceitful picture of me or even perceive me as an extremely shrouded figure. Real close friends are those who knows these two people in me, and can see and tell which one is in control at different times. I cherish these people; the ones that I would go out of my way to keep in touch with. Not all of these are animate beings though, there are friends like Jasmine and Emma (my guitars) or more generally, music, that I feel are always there for me. I can play the same instrument with aggression and anger, or gently caress it with sensuality; it wouldn't complain, and the instrument's voicing would usually be an apt description of what I'm feeling at the moment. Someone to celebrate, weep and feel mellow with you, pretty neat. Alright, you may think I'm psycho, and you may just be right, but I'm not ashamed of it.

Or maybe I'm just bipolar (actually, this may just be true, hahaha).

I don't mind being judged by people I don't care about, frankly. See me as a flirtatious whore and that's just fine. As the most serious person alive, that's alright. But for people close to me, that I care about, whom I would have to deal with continuously for a long time to come, it just sucks that I have to care, just because if I don't, I may make things difficult for myself and highly likely, someday explode at them like an overstuffed German pork sausage.

So, after writing this up, life still goes on, no changes on the outside. People will still (mis)judge me and piss me off. I may still walk into different places with a mask of formality; maybe not? At least, I feel much better letting out this noxious fart, at a quiet little place where no one will be gravely harmed.. Or so I think.

Updates

As promised, I've registered to vote, and surprisingly, the entire process took me less than 10 minutes. Get to post office in the morning, get to counter, ask to register to vote, fill the form... pretty much it, really. Proof!

Tried to get creative with censorship.

The picture below shows my first ever official document that states I am a Christian, and I am proud of it (despite it being spelled 'Kristian' in Malay)

Maybe I should've thought better than to use the star. haha. Anyhow, it's really empowering to know that I've registered to vote, especially after I've watched two videos Cheryl shared with me (yes, the Ficus lady) regarding the state of Malaysian politics. I think they're from Malaysiakini.tv. We gotta vote to make the numbers so them parties don't stay in their safe/comfort zone and snack on our money. If you haven't registered to vote, come on, even the lazy assed Furryturtle did it.

Please don't say "I don't care" because if you really don't, you have no right to whine about how backward Malaysia is or how you may suffer in the future if a bad ruling system gives you shit; because you didn't exercise your right to vote when you had the choice to. Whoa, I feel like a bullshitting politician already, awesome.

This Friday night, I'll be playing guitar for the first time for worship in Homes (cell group), serving my God for the first time. Wish me luck =p

Songbook holding my chord sheets, one of my new commitments (to print n keep them so I can refer in the future).

I also bought a new wallet. Australian Donkey. Or some prefer calling it Alain Delon.

Notice the little leather strap around the headstock? 30 bucks so I don't have to drill a strap button into my poor Jasmine (the guitar).
Speaking of straps.... RM70 T_T

They'll be my gear for Friday night... and a long time more =)

Do Something EPIC?

Do Something Epic

Heard about those guys? When I read the website on the papers (The Star) the other day, I thought it was another group they were talking about. But nope, I just checked, it's my friends from school who were really up to it. Looks like something big, something epic indeed.

Check them out, in both videos -

vote to make a difference.

Voice your Choice

Starting a Voting Booth

Or at the very least, just get your ass to a post office closest to you, and register yourself as a voter. I admit, I haven't, but I am going to =p

Kemaluans..

"A survey in five secondary schools revealed that most male teenagers will deny making their girlfriends pregnant. Instead, they would accuse the girls of sleeping with other boys."

"Besides denial, many of the boys also tend to run away instead of taking responsibility for the pregnancy. As for the girls, many yearned to be in love, and they were willing to 'give all' to their boyfriends."

(Excerpts from The Star, 6th May 2010)

Oh fellow kukuchiaus of Malaysia, what kemaluans you have brought upon your fellow penis-bearers. Come erect Stand up and do what's right.